


breathe til i evaporated

by alotofphandoms



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Evak - Freeform, Even is worried, Hurt/Comfort, Insomina, Isak can't sleep, M/M, Making Up, Post S3, SKAM - Freeform, Sleep Deprivation, Worry, falling asleep in class, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 05:56:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11373969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alotofphandoms/pseuds/alotofphandoms
Summary: "Isak?" Even's distressed voice, woke him suddenly. Isak shot up from his resting place and looked around, trying to make it seem like wasn't just passed out on his arm. "Isak, are you alright?" Even demanded, sounding very upset. Isak looked at him and blinked."I'm fine.""You're not fine! You just fell asleep when I stopped talking for a minute. I look up and you're passed out on the table!" Even said, his body tense and his eyes wide. Isak rubbed a hand down his face."I just.. I haven't been sleeping at night." Isak spilled and Even sat back in his chair.





	breathe til i evaporated

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this right after season three ended so pretend this is set in January or February
> 
> title from Nights by Frank Ocean

 FREDAG - 11:24

"Isak... Isak? Mr. Valtersen." Isak's eyes fluttered open as sounds entered his brain and he realized that he may have just been passed out in the middle of his biology class. He sat up to see Sana glaring at him and he looked around to see that the whole class has their eyes on him, including the teacher. He swallowed thickly and said a short apology under his breath.

"Pay attention, Mr. Valtersen and maybe get some sleep on your own time." The teacher sassed him and then turned back to the front of the classroom. Isak sighed, running a hand down his face.

"What's with you? You've done this everyday this week." Sana said, turning to him. Isak mumbled something incoherent. Thankfully, the bell rang and he sighed again, but this time with relief. Maybe he could stop by the cafeteria to see his boyfriend. Even didn't have many classes this semester as he was graduating from high school in a few months and Isak wished he could just sit in the courtyard, drawing doodles most of the day. Instead, he was struggling to keep awake. 

He got down to the cafeteria and bought a sandwich before going out to the courtyard to try to find Even. He found him at a table all alone. Isak took a second to admire Even as he leaned over his sketchbook. Beautiful golden hair swooping down, letting sunlight flutter through his thick locks and hit his profile perfectly. He was beautiful, and he was Isak's.

He walked up and sat next to him, making Even look up and smile brightly. It was almost as blinding as his bright eyes.

"Halla," Even kissed him chastely and Isak smiled tightly. "You alright?"

"I fell asleep again in biology." Isak let his shoulders drop and put his head in his hand. Even didn't know he had such a bad sleep problem and Isak himself didn't think it was that bad either, so he hadn't told him anything. Even assumed he was sleeping at night but he almost always fell asleep before Isak could pass out from exhaustion for maybe an hour or three.

"Did you sleep last night?" Even questioned, not hiding the worry in his voice from his tired eyed boyfriend. Isak took a deep breath and lied.

"Maybe, five hours." Isak knew it was more like two and it was a restless sleep. He felt like his body and mind were sleeping but he still felt like he had gotten no sleep at all. He hadn't had a night of rest in a month or so. He thought sleeping with Even would help him and for a while it did but suddenly his life was stressful again. He was so in love with Even but having a boyfriend doesn't fix all your problems. He still had the stress of worrying about his mom but not having the strength to go see her. His school work was difficult to do at half past two when he couldn't fall asleep. Even was getting more sleep than him and that usually wasn't the case. Isak looked away from Even's concerned gaze and went to eat his sandwich. 

"Are you alright?" Even asks, quickly pulling the sandwich from Isak's grip. Isak looked at him, utterly confused as Even looks at him with intense worry.

"What? Even, let me eat." Isak whines. Even furrows his eyebrows deeply.

"You're allergic to peanut butter and you got a PB&J sandwich?" Even pointed out and Isak froze. Did he? He looked at the sandwich and sure enough, it was. How could he make that mistake? He could've almost died if Even didn't notice. Isak swallowed, trying to come up with an answer.

"I'm fine, I just.. wasn't paying attention... I guess." Isak told him but Even didn't believe him. Thankfully, Even didn't say anything and just got up to buy Isak a different sandwich, throwing the other one away like it had personally offended him. Isak buried his face into his hands, frustrated that he couldn't just sleep at night. What's wrong with him?

FREDAG 14:35

"Isak Valtersen." The doctor called and Isak followed her into the room. He sat down and she went around to sit behind her desk. "What's troubling you, Isak?" she questioned and he sighed. _So much..._

"I just haven't been sleeping at night. I was wondering if you could give me something, like uh, pills or something. It's just, cause it's starting to affect my school work and.. uh, yeah." Isak stuttered, coughing. She nodded, understanding.

"How many hours a night do you sleep?" She asked him, pulling out a clipboard. He fidgeted.

"Last night, probably two. I'm not sure." He told her, truthfully. "And everyday I've slept through my biology class." Isak thought that would be important to tell her. Isak was right as she raised her eyebrows and started clicking away on her computer.

"Isak, do you have people to talk to?" The doctor asked, looking at him seriously.

"What?"

"People need people to talk to about their problems. Do you have someone?" She rephrases the question.

"Oh uh.. I have my boyfriend." Isak tells her but quickly adds, "But he has his own problems, I don't need to burden him with mine." She furrows her eyebrows at that.

"Isak, everyone has their own problems but you need to put your own first. I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't mind if you talked to him about your issues for a little while." She said, her words soft and kind. Isak shrugged and shook his head.

"He wouldn't mind, no.. But I would feel weird dumping my thoughts on him in the middle of the night." Isak told her, unsure of what he meant because, truthfully, he hadn't really thought about talking to Even about all of this.

"Would you like to speak to a professional? I can set up an appointment." She offers and Isak quickly shuts down the idea.

"No, I'm not doing anything like that." He pleas. "No, I'm not doing that." She gives him a look and he shakes his head. "Can't you just give me some pills?"

She gives in and prescribes him sleep medication, nothing too strong but Isak will most likely sleep a few extra hours if they work.

MANDAG 4:48

The sleeping pills didn't work. Isak laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, knowing he had to get up to go to school in about three hours. Even's breathing had kept him company but he couldn't quiet his ever present thoughts. Isak contemplated getting up and doing something like school work or literally anything but he didn't want to wake up Even. Isak laid there for another two hours before passing out.

MANDAG 15:28

Isak struggled to balance the books in his hand as he tried to open his locker. He couldn't remember his combination and it was getting increasingly more frustrating as more time passed. Isak felt a presence beside him and looked up to see Even smirking at him.

"Having some trouble?" Even raised his eyebrows at him and Isak huffed.

"I uh.. I can't remember my fucking combination." Isak muttered and Even looked at him, puzzled.

"The same combination that you've had for almost two years now?" Even questioned and Isak shrugged, looking down at his feet. Even nudged him over. "I remember it." He tells him, pressing the correct buttons and twisting the nob, opening his locker effortlessly.

"How.. How do you know it?" Isak asked him and once again Even raised his eyebrows.

"You told me the numbers. Remember..." Even looked at Isak expectantly but Isak just squinted his eyes. Even continued, "Remember, you were sick and you told me the numbers so I could get your notes for you?" Even couldn't understand why Isak wouldn't remember something that happened two weeks ago. It also wasn't a very complicated number combination. Isak nodded his head, but Even could tell he couldn't actually remember it. Even stepped closer into his personal space and Isak looked up. "Isak..."

"Yeah?" Isak answered. Even took his hands in his as the hallway cleared out and pressed their foreheads together. Isak liked the comforting gesture.

"Are you alright? You've been really weird lately." Even asks him and Isak averts his eyes. Should he just tell him what's been going on? _No, I can't. Even has his own problems, he shouldn't worry about me._

"I'm fine, Even. You shouldn't worry about me." He told him and steps away, shoving his things into his locker.

"Isak, I'm always going to worry about you." Isak looked up. Apparently Even was not going to let this go. "You've been forgetting a lot of things lately and falling asleep in class.. I'm just really concerned." Even said, taking his hands again. Isak shook his head.

"Don't be concerned, it's nothing." Isak stared at the floor as he spoke and intertwined their fingers together.

"I'm your boyfriend... I'm allowed to be concerned." Even chuckles, fondly. Isak looks up and smiles at him as he leans down and kisses Isak on the lips sweetly. "I love you, okay?"

"I love you too, Even and I'm fine." Isak assured him and Even was satisfied for now. They left the school grounds to go down to Kaffebrenneriet.

At KB, Isak forgot his coffee order and had to quickly think of something else to order before Even questioned him. He ended up getting a mocha latte which tasted like shit and Isak was not happy about that. They sat down at their table near the window and thankfully Even didn't ask about the different drink choice. They shared a pastry and Even rambled on about a new film that was coming out or already came out, Isak couldn't tell because his attention was slipping. He could feel himself getting extremely tired but Even's excited voice was keeping his eyes open. Isak felt himself slip completely when Even stopped talking for a minute to text his mom back. Suddenly Isak's head was resting on his arm and consciousness was slipping away from him.

"Isak?" Even's distressed voice, woke him suddenly. Isak shot up from his resting place and looked around, trying to make it seem like wasn't just passed out on his arm. "Isak, are you alright?" Even demanded, sounding very upset. Isak looked at him and blinked.

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine! You just fell asleep when I stopped talking for a minute. I look up and you're passed out on the table!" Even said, his body tense and his eyes wide. Isak rubbed a hand down his face.

"I just.. I haven't been sleeping at night." Isak spilled and Even sat back in his chair.

"How many hours did you sleep last night? Tell me the truth." Even's eyebrows furrowed with frustration at his boyfriend who was so obviously not well and not talking to him about it for some reason. Isak took a deep breath and thought about it for a long moment.

"An hour.. An hour and a half, maybe?" Isak told him, worried what he'll say to that. Even's mouth was agape when Isak looked back up at him.

"Isak, an hour? How long has this been going on? How long has it been since you got a full night's sleep? Tell me the truth." Isak didn't like how Even kept telling him to tell the truth; he knew he had been lying before this. He didn't like lying to Even and Even very obviously didn't like that Isak was lying. He frowned and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, a while." Isak answered, he continued before Even could argue with him further. "Okay, it's been a long time. Probably since my mom had that.." Isak trailed off, too tired to finish his thought or just choosing not to think about it. Even huffed, slumping in his seat.

"Isak... You need sleep. You aren't well." Even tells him and Isak just frowns.

"I'll be fine. I'm not going to die or anything." Isak says and Even rolls his eyes dramatically.

"Something could happen though! You could fall asleep in your class and not wake up when the bell rings. You could fall asleep on the bus when I'm not with you. If I wasn't with you right now you'd probably be passed out in the middle of the café, and that scares me!" Even tells him and Isak just looks down at his disappointing mocha latte. Even huffs. "Why didn't you tell me months ago?" He didn't sound mad, more like upset and concerned. Isak shrugs.

"You were... You were recovering from an episode." Isak mumbled, not looking Even in the eye. He knew he couldn't lie anymore but telling the truth still felt like he was hurting him. Isak didn't want Even to feel babied or controlled but he couldn't help being worried and not wanting to worry Even with more. "I realized that the sleeping thing may actually be a problem but.. I didn't want to worry you."

"Isak..." Even didn't know what to say. He felt like this had all been his fault. Isak wasn't sleeping and he couldn't even talk to his boyfriend about it all. Even huffed. "Can we... Can we talk about this at your place or something?" Isak nodded and they got up, leaving their coffees.

When they got to the apartment, Eskild was sitting on the couch, flicking through channels. He looked up to them with a smile but it immediately dropped when he saw Isak and Even's stony faces, Even a step ahead as Isak trailed behind, looking shameful. Eskild wanted to, but he didn't ask.

Even shut the door behind Isak and turned to him. He sighed and looked at his deflated boyfriend. He looked small and slouched over himself. Even noted the dark, sunken in shadows underneath his eyes and the heavy lull of his head as he looked down to the ground.

"Isak, how.. How could you not tell me about something like this?" Even asked him. Isak shrugged weakly.

"I just know you have your own problems and you don't need to hear about mine." Isak told him again and this time Even huffed loudly and rolled his eyes.

"Isak! I'm not a child. I can handle hearing about someone else's issues, and I would like to help my own boyfriend with his issues. Jævla dritt, Isak... You can't do this." Even said, loudly and firmly. Isak sat on the bed, breathing deeply. The silence dragged on as they both sat frozen. Isak had his hands covering his face and as the silence droned on, Even was worried Isak started crying. He was right.

Isak looked up with tears streaming down his face just from pure emotional exhaustion. "I'll talk to you." He whispered, sniffling. Even inched closer and Isak stood to hug him tightly. "I'm sorry I haven't been telling you the truth, Even." Even rubbed his hands up and down Isak's back comfortingly.

"It's okay, baby. I just love you a lot and need you to be happy. I need you to be healthy and well-rested." Even tells him, kissing the space beneath his ear. Isak leans into Even body, absorbing his warmth.

They stand there for what felt like an hour, until Isak admits that he feels a little tired. Slowly, they change into comfy clothes and Even lets Isak wear his sweatshirt, hoping it will comfort him. Even pulls Isak tight once they're in bed together and kisses his forehead softly.

"I'm sorry I yelled." Even apologizes and Isak shakes his head.

"It's okay, I've been stupid lately, thinking you wouldn't want to know about this." Isak tells him and Even plants warm kisses all over his face. Eventually, Even's breathing slows down and Isak knows he's asleep. Isak however, still can not seem to drift off until four in the morning. 

TIRSDAG 08:32

Isak grumbles as he wakes up, groggy and still feeling exhausted. He got more sleep than normal but it didn't seem to make him less tired. He turned to the side to see Even snoring quietly next to him. Carefully climbing out of bed, Isak went to shower and get dressed. Even in the shower he can feel his eyes shutting for too long. Warm water cascades down his milky white skin and he realizes he's going to be late for class if he stands there any longer. He half-asses cleaning himself and then wraps up into a fluffy towel. Wet footprints follow him down the hallway back to his bedroom and thankfully, Even is still sleeping soundly. Isak is slightly jealous that Even can sleep so profoundly right now when there's still a whirl wind of thoughts stuck in Isak's brain, keeping him from the safety of sleep.

Isak dresses himself, moving sluggishly and almost putting his jeans on backwards. As soon as he's pulling a black sweatshirt over his tee shirt, he hears shuffling on the bed.

"What time is it?" The familiar voice mumbles. Isak looks to his phone to see the time.

"Half past eight." He says and Even rolls out of the bed, hair fluffy and matted down at the same time. Isak watches intently as Even walks over, pulling him close to his warm, bare chest. 

"Hi." Even plants a chaste kiss on Isak's lips. "How are you?" Isak feels like it's too heavy of a question. He's tired and just wants to never have to think again. 

"I'm good." Isak tells him and kisses him, relishing in the warmth and comfort of Even's lips. Even's arms squeeze his waist, letting the kiss linger for a moment before pulling away. 

"We're gonna be late for school." Even tells him and Isak doesn't even have to energy to complain about school so he just nods and pulls away. Even watches as he begins packing up his school bag. "Babe, that's my sketch book." He says, pulling the book out of Isak's bag.

"Right. Sorry. Why was it with my stuff?" Isak murmurs and Even just smooths his hair back and places a kiss on his widows peak. 

TIRSDAG 12:27

During lunch, the boys spoke animatedly about the party two weeks ago that Isak couldn't recall at the moment and it wasn't because he was drunk at the party. It's because the illusive bug of sleep refused to be caught right now. As Isak rested his cheek on his hand, he tried to listen. Really, he did. As Magnus laughed loudly and Mahdi smiled at something Jonas said, Isak tried to hear what they were saying but it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Suddenly, he felt a long arm rest on his shoulders and he looked up to see Even smiling at the boys. 

"Even. Hey." Isak greeted and Even smiled softly, leaning down to press a kiss against Isak's cheek.

"Hi baby." Even sat down and gave Isak a look, a look with raised eyebrows and a small comforting smile. A look that asked a million questions. Isak pretended he didn't see the look and turned back to Jonas.

"So then what happened?" Isak asked, making Jonas continue his story like he was never interrupted. A few minutes passed before Isak realized his eyes were closed and his head was resting on his propped up hand. He looked up to see that none of the boys had noticed, but how long had it been?

"-the kebab place down the street. We can just skip out on our last class." Magnus said, Isak tuning in halfway. "It'll be fun." 

"Okay, you guys coming?" Jonas says, turning to Isak and Even. Isak nods and turns to Even. 

"You can skip your last class?" Even asks, knowing how much Isak hates to skip and mess with his ten percent.

"What's my last class?" Isak asks before thinking about how that will only make Even worry more.

"Huh?! You don't remember your own schedule?" Jonas laughs and Isak just presses a smile on.

"I'm joking, yeah I can skip." Isak lies and he purposefully avoids looking at Even while stealing a french fry from his plate. He can feel Even's hard gaze on the side of his face though. For the rest of lunch, Isak tries exceptionally hard to stay awake, which in turn causes him to need sleep even more. 

TIRSDAG 16:08

Even gripped his hand tight as they walked down the empty street with Magnus, Mahdi and Jonas in tow. The boys behind them were talking about Vilde and teasing Magnus about how desperate he is around her. Even was saying something to Isak but he couldn't focus. He was focusing so hard on staying awake. Walk straight. Stay awake. Keep walking straight. Keep staying awake. Isak couldn't help but feel like bursting into tears from so much exhaustion. 

"-so his three of his films, it's so cool, they're all connected but not really. They all tell a story through an art form, you know how Moulin Rouge tells the story through song and Strictly Ballroom tells the story through dance and all that-" Even was rambling on but suddenly Isak couldn't hear anymore. He felt other bodies colliding with him before all he felt was-

Darkness. Sleep. Darkness, finally.

"-ak!!! Isak! Oh my god, Isak!" There was shouting all around him and hands on his body. No more sleep. Isak's eyes fluttered open and above him there were concerned faces, well much more than just concerned. The boys looked like they seen a ghost and Even, Even had single tears streaming down his soft face. Isak couldn't stay awake long enough to wipe Even's tears.

ONSDAG 07:48

Light seeped into his senses and he felt like the light finally didn't hurt his head. His eyes opened and Isak realized he had actually slept. He wanted to cry from the relief that his body felt lighter and if Even didn't immediately rush to his side he could fall back to sleep right now.

"Isak? Isak, are you okay?" Even sounded scared and worried, Isak's chest ached to hear him sound like that because of him. 

"I... slept. Wh-... What happened?" Isak questioned, incredulously. Even laughed but it sounded far too empty. 

"You scared me to death, baby." He pulled Isak up and into his long arms. It'd be warm enough for him to sleep again if he didn't feel his gut fill with guilt. 

"I'm sorry, Even." He told him, tears filling his eyes. Even squeezed his body closer and Isak felt him breath deeply.

"Just, don't let it get this bad. Please..." Even whispered harshly into my ear. "I love you, Isak, I need you to be okay. I love you so much and I can't stand to see you hurt like this. You can talk to me about anything, okay? I don't care how heavy it is, you can talk to me. Do you understand?" Even asked, shaking Isak's shoulders, a bit desperately. Isak nods, but he knows that's not enough for him.

"I understand Even, I'll talk to you. I promise." Isak tells him, voice tight as tears run down his cheeks. "I love you. I love you very much, probably more than anybody could love another person, and I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you." Isak's not even sure how he can string together a coherent sentence but a fond smile makes it's way onto Even's tear-stained face and Isak feels like he won.

"Go to sleep, baby. Please, sleep." Even whispers, pull Isak close and holding him tight, stroking his fluffy hair. The weight of Even's love makes sleep come easy, easier than it has come in months.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked that lol if you want something a lot more fluffy i have a chaptered fic called Golden Boy and that'd be cool if you could check it out :)
> 
> if you liked this, comment below, i really appreciate any type of feedback <3
> 
> also, if you have an requests for an evak fic, just comment and i'll probably write it for you because i love writing when i have some type of prompt xoxo
> 
> thank you for reading, love yooouuuu


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